Maybe you have or maybe you haven’t noticed that I changed the name of the site. I did this a while back, just haven’t switched it all the way over to the new domain (couch2ultra.com)
So when I landed on the shores of Kona 10 months ago as a chubby white boy with no athletic background, who didn’t know how to swim, kinda knew how to ride a bike, couldn’t run for shit (and was a barefooter to boot), and started telling people I was here to do Ultraman… you can imagine the once over people’s eyes gave me.
I have to admit… this kind of pissed me off. They obviously don’t know me.
Time to start hacking!
Well I’m here to tell you, in the last 8 months, I watched a youtube video of Michael Phelps swim. Taught myself freestyle during August and now have a 28:00-30:00 mile swim. Studied a bunch of peoples bike technique/setup and can now hold a 22mph avg for 100 miles in the Kona heat if needed. I watched a youtube of Josh Cox rip off a smokin’ fast 50k in July and mimicked his running style. I can now run a sub 5:00 mile, 18:00 5k, and about a 40:00 10k.
And I’m just getting warmed up
Guess what? The pros still wont wave back to me in my welfare Wal-Mart kit on my 5 year old second hand bikes, but I’m not 200lbs or white anymore, I’ve dialed in a diet Superman himself would love to get his hands on (my advantage), and those people who laughed? They aren’t laughing anymore. Never underestimate me… you will lose in due time. Just keep telling me what I can’t do. I’m not too sad though. You know… they probably didn’t wave to Chrissie Wellington either until she smoked their asses at Ironman on her second hand bike.
Here’s this weekend’s workout stats:
3/4 mile ocean swim (28:30 mile)
299 bike miles (18mph on 26lb commuter bike)
53.5 run miles (7:50 avg)
No support team.
I would have swam more, but I forgot my goggles. I didn’t “taper” (or even plan) anything, I just grab bottles and go. I’m not even tired. All part of a 41 hour training week. I do it old school like Rocky (even the raw egg part). No gels, shot blocks, or electrolyte drinks. I don’t own a pair of “recovery” compression socks/pants, or any other gadgetry, no coach, no masseuse, or even know how to foam roll. I’m too poor for that crap. Half the time my damn tires are less than 80 PSI (like they were for 100+ of the above miles).
Now if some way, some how, I can convince Jane to let me into the race and figure out how to pay for it, maybe in 10 more months I can line up with Jonas Colting and Rich Roll and swim through their pee on the way to Keauhou Bay.